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Question: I wrote a song now i need help editing it!?

(Posted by: Jennifer on 2010-03-02 14:36:16)

Okay here is a song that i wrote for a contest i am going in for please tell me anything i could put in or edit thanks :) Her only prayer People say that she’s lost everything, that she has nothing ahead of her People say that she’s all alone and that she has nothing to look forward in life She says life has everything she could dream of She says life can be anything she wants it to be She says that her only prayer is Dear God show me the way Show me where to go Oh God help through this time Watch over me; keep me in your arms Oh God one last thing tell my momma that I love her She lost everything dear to her But now there is one person to show her That he loves her more than the world its self She now knows that God has answered her prayer And helped through it all Dear God show me the way Show me where to go Oh God help through this time Watch over me; keep me in your arms Oh God one last thing tell my momma that I love her

Posted by: Blossom on 2010-03-02, 14:38:28

No, that's a perfect song. Good job! Good luck winning the contest!

Posted by: Ben on 2010-03-02, 14:38:37

What kind of song is it? im guessing gospel from all the mentions of god in it. if your not from the south and your not entering this in church change the whole thing in my opinion

Posted by: lukekk_one on 2010-03-02, 14:40:23

Sorry but I don't know the tune, if you can upload it onto youtube, that'd be most helpful. But it's looking pretty good now. pause at the first "and " and get rid of the "that ". From what I'm visioning in my head this is a country song, if that's not what you're looking for, I suggest you change the flow of the lyrics. Also if you have a score for this could you post it?

Posted by: littl_wizz on 2010-03-02, 14:47:31

It looks pretty good. I think it would look better in 4:4 format instead of 5:4, as 5:4 means very complicated music writing etc. What you could do is increas it to 6:4 by adding another line.. or you could drop a line on some of these.. eg. "She says.. life.. has everything, she (long) could (long) dream (long) of (stocatto) She says life can be anything she wants it to be, She says that her only prayer is: " of you could drop the last line and incorperate it into line 4 "she says life has everything she could dream of, She says life can be anything, her only prayer is: " But that kinda sucks.. I'm not very imaginitive with lyrics sorry.. ALSO what genre will this song be? as in some genres you will want the chorus at the end to be repeated.. "Dear god show me the way..... " then "Dear God show me the way.. Show my where to go.. Oh God, help me, through this time, Watch over me, Keep me in your arms, OH GOD! Tell my momma.. that I love (long) her (long) " small subtle changes that just make it worth a better mark.. but I think that has good chance already. OH Ignore my thing about 4:4 if you split each line into two bars it would be 12:4 correct for blues etc.. so.

Posted by: Pori on 2010-03-02, 14:52:33

People say that she's lost everything, she's got nothing at all And people say that she's all alone with no one to hear her call But she says always says that life can be whatever she dreams And she will say that life isn't what it seems *yeah yeah yeah* And so with despair creeping up on her heart She kneel down and says her final prayer Dear God show me the way Keep me in your arms, there to stay Show me where to go And tell me what to see Lead me to your heart And baby set me free! *yeah yeah yeah* Oh and please God just one more thing before I go Tell my momma that I love her soooo! Because my momma has just lost everything So please God, your kindness bring And make her stand tall Because she'll know someone out there...helped her through it all!!!! *yeeah!* Dear God show me the way Keep me in your arms, there to stay Show me where to go And tell me what to see Lead me to your heart And baby set me free! *yeah yeah yeah* Oh and please God just one more thing before I go Tell my momma that I love her soooo! and there you have it. of course i changed alot of stuff to match my tune but i hope that helped (i don't see how it could have) good luck!